Future being.

(16 Nov. 2021)

I feel a pull in my system.
Something is pulling every cell of my body.
When I listen to the pull,
when I stop myself from whatever I am doing
and really feel into the feeling
of being pulled,
I find a pleasurable feeling.
A little bit orgasmic.
But not in a sexual way.
More like when you eat something
remarkably delicious
and am in awe of the sensations.
Or when you smell a truly fragrant flower,
like Jasmine,
and it takes over your whole system
with pleasure.
That kind of sensory feeling
is what the pull feels like.

Once again, I stand in between.
In between jobs.
I’ve done this before.
I recognize the feeling.
I recognize the questions coming from others.
What will you do now?
Do you have anything new awaiting?
And with all concern — How will you make a living?

Once again, I don’t have an answer.
I quit. I was done. That was very clear.
Something else is pulling.
And I am being called to listen to that pull.
More than ever.

Though, it is, in fact, a little bit different this time.
I don’t feel like I am in between jobs.
I feel like I am leaving the story of work,
once and for all.
I am not going to enter a new job.

Dear body, let it sink in.
You are not moving on to a new job.
Not in its old meaning.
You are being pulled
to re-author your own work-life.
Re-author your world of work.
And live it.

I long for my work
to be an expression of myself.
I long for my work
to fill me with more energy than it takes.
I long for my work
to fill me with inspiration and creation.
I long for my work
to serve myself, others and the whole.
I long for my workdays
to be filled with pleasure and joy.
I long for my workdays to be a representation
of the world I want to live in.
A representation of the future.

The future is created in the now.
Whatever we do today
lays the foundation for the future created.
I am a future being.
And I want to create a future that is not just
an improvement,
but one of a profoundly different nature
from what we have now.

I know it is possible.
And that is why I need to create it
here and now.

That is why I can not enter a new job
in its old costume.
That is why I am now pulled
to create the future
all around me,
in all aspects of my life.
That is why I need
to surround me with
more dreamers
than cynics.
Because even though
I feel more sure than ever,
the dominant narrative of society
is just as prevalent as before.

I have been in training since university,
leaving the work narrative,
the norm.
And now it is time,
to take a full step
into an alternative story of work.

I feel a curious sensation
tingling in my belly
and heart.

What future will I be part of creating?
Today I choose to create a more present one.
Less focused on the story of lack of time,
more focused on the beauty of the present moment
and in service of myself.

What future are you creating today?